Fortifying Our Families

Heidelberg Castle

by Katie Berry

My father is a retired LTC in the Army.  As a child we lived on and off military bases.  In 1990, when I was a junior in high school we lived in Heidelberg, Germany.  The high school I attended was not on a military base, rather it was nestled in a residential area.  Anyone could walk into the school.  The home we lived in was on a military base surrounded by a chain link fence topped with barbed wire.  In order to gain access to the base we had to show an ID card. 

In the wake of the Gulf War new security measures were put into place.  In September when we went back to school we found soldiers armed with semi-automatic rifles at each entrance and they required us to show an ID card.  New security measures were also put into place on the military base where we lived.  Not only did we have to show our ID cards but we also had to have our vehicle searched for bombs by K-9 patrols and mirrors on poles so the Military Police could look under our vehicle.  Along the chain link fence armed soldiers were stationed about every 50 yards.  We could see the soldiers from our balcony, and instead of being scared we were comforted in our new security.

Last July I was fortunate enough to attend my high school reunion in Heidelberg.  We quickly learned that in the wake of 9/11 more stringent security measures were established.  My high school was now on a military bases.  At the access gate we found both American and German Military Police Officers.  Our passport had to be presented.  The Officers then verified that a security check had already been conducted and we had prior approval to enter the base.  When we visited the base where my old home was, we found even more security.  The chain link fence had been removed and in it’s place a 20 foot concrete wall, which reminded me of the Berlin Wall.  At the access gate we found vehicles were required to maneuver through a cement obstacle course and then searched for bombs.  We also had to present our passports to the Military Police.  As we walked around and I took in all of the many changes, I took pictures to share with my family back home.  We were caught by surprise when we were approached and asked to refrain from taking pictures.  When we shared this with my classmates I was informed that the inability to take photographs on the base is a new security measure and is a federal law.

For thousands of years fortification has taken many variations.  These have included placing a village on the top of a hill or mountain, high walls around a village or castle, moats filled with water and animals such as alligators and lions, strategically placing  armory around the area being protected, and much more.  These were put into place to provide physical and emotional security against the enemy.  We might think that it is someone else’s responsibility to provide us with this security.  Perhaps we think that it is the responsibility of the government, the military, our chid’s school, or even our church leaders.

We have been commanded to fortify our families.  In Joshua 24:15 we read: “...choose you ^bthis day whom ye will ^cserve; ...as for me and my ^dhouse, we will ^eserve the Lord.”  In April 1979 President Spencer W. Kimball said: “Parents should not leave the training of children to others.  There seems to be a growing tendency to shift this responsibility from the home to outside influences such as the school and the church, and of greater concern, to various child-care agencies and institutions. Important as these outward influences may be, they never can adequately take the place of the influence of the mother and the father. Constant training, constant vigilance, companionship, and being watchmen of our own children are necessary in order to keep our homes intact and to bless our children in the Lord’s own way.”  The Doctrine and Covenants is very clear about whose responsibility it is to fortify our families.  It is the responsibility of the parents to teach their children. All other agencies are secondary. If parents do not teach their children—their children—they will be held responsible.

How can we fortify our families?  If we look at the definition of the word fortify we quickly learn there are four ways we can fortify our families.  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary the word fortify means: 1) to strengthen and secure by forts or batteries, 2) to give physical strength, courage, or endurance, 3) to add mental or moral strength or encourage, and 4) to add material to for strengthening or enriching.

Our homes should be a place of peace and security.  Our family members and guests should feel a difference once in our homes.  The cares of the outside world should be left behind.  Our homes should be liken unto the temple.  Those who have been to even the grounds of the temple can easily identify this feeling of peace, love, freedom, and security.  If you have never visited an LDS temple, I invite you to make a visit.

President Kimball reminded us: “We need continually to fortify our homes and families and defend them against the onslaught of evils such as divorce, broken families, brutality, and abuse, especially of wives and children. We need to constantly guard against immorality, pornography, and sexual permissiveness that would destroy the purity of the family members, young and old.  Such evils are very real and very threatening. One has but to read the headlines of our newspapers and magazines to become frighteningly aware of the crumbling, destructive influences which surround us.  Perhaps I sound like an alarmist. If so, it is because I am alarmed. I am greatly concerned, and so are my Brethren in the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles and others of the General Authorities.  If we could but suggest you go home and lock these evils out by closing and bolting the windows and locking the doors of your homes securely, it would be a simple matter.  However, such security would be ineffective against the evils of which we speak. They come into our homes on ether waves by radio and the television screen. We find these evil forces almost everywhere we go. Exposure is almost constant. We track them into the home from the school, from the playground, from the theater, the office, and the marketplace. There are but few places we go in our everyday world where we can escape them.”

As parents and children we can work together to give physical strength, courage, and endurance.  We can work together to accomplish the household chores, without whining and complaining.  In the Book of Mormon we read about Nephi and his brother’s Laman and Lemuel.  Lehi and his family lived in the land of Bountiful by the seashore.  The Lord told Lehi's son Nephi to build a boat to get to the promised land.  Nephi believed that the Lord would help him build the boat. Nephi asked the Lord where to find ore to make tools, and the Lord showed him.  Nephi's brothers, Laman and Lemuel, did not want to help him build the boat. They did not believe that the Lord would show Nephi how to build it.  Nephi told his brothers to repent and obey the commandments, and that the Lord would help them too. But Laman and Lemuel did not want to listen. They wanted to throw Nephi into the sea.  Nephi was filled with the power of God. He shocked his brothers so they would know that the Lord was helping him.  Laman and Lemuel felt sorry, and repented. They helped Nephi build the ship.  Now I am not saying we need to shock our children in order to follow our commandments, but rather when we work as a team we accomplish some pretty amazing things!

Service is another way we can fortify our families.  When a family member is ill we can serve them by helping them.  We can cook a meal, draw a bath, fluff a pillow, or do their chores.  Criticizing family members for not pulling their weight or for always being sick is not productive nor is is Christ-like.  We can learn from the stripling warriors, also known as The Army of Helaman, who worked together to fortify their people.  These young men did this after their parents had covenanted to not kill and buried their weapons.  The young men could have easily complained against their parents and blamed them.  In Alma 56:47-48 we read: “Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the ^aliberty of their ^bfathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their ^cmothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.  And they rehearsed unto me the words of their ^amothers, saying: We ^bdo not doubt our mothers knew it.”  From this scripture story fathers and mothers learn to teach of our children of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in not only word, but also by deed.  As children we learn to follow the courageous example of our parents.

We can further fortify our families by providing mental and moral strength.  This is accomplished by prayer, regular meaningful family home evening, and family scripture study.  Of prayer President Kimball said: “The Lord has not promised us freedom from adversity or affliction. Instead, he has given us the avenue of communication known as prayer, whereby we might humble ourselves and seek his help and divine guidance, so that we could establish a house of prayer. I have previously said that they who reach down into the depths of life where, in the stillness, the voice of God has been heard, have the stabilizing power which carries them poised and serene through the hurricane of difficulties. President Harold B. Lee has said it this way: “Just as a flood-lighted temple is more beautiful in a severe storm or in a heavy fog, so the gospel of Jesus Christ is more glorious in times of inward storm and of personal sorrow and tormenting conflict” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1965, p. 16).”  

On April 27, 1915 the First Presidency issued a letter with a divine promise. 

"We advise and urge the inauguration of a 'Home Evening' throughout the church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord. . . . 'Home Evening' should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture-reading, family topics and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel, and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligations of children to parents, the home, the Church, society and the nation. For the smaller children appropriate recitations, songs, stories and games may be introduced. Light refreshments of such a nature as may be largely prepared in the home might be served." "If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them." — Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose

Daily scripture study as a family will nourish the souls of each father, mother, and child.  It might be difficult to do but once it becomes habit, it will be more important than breakfast, lunch, or dinner combined.  As we study the words of the Lord and prophets we learn that our trials are not new, the pitfalls our family can hit, how to avoid them, and how to get out when we have failed to avoid them.  I am so thankful for my calling as a primary teacher.  This year we are studying the Book of Mormon and although I have read it in it’s entirety, I am learning more and more each week.  As a seminary teacher Keith has studied three of the four standard works.  With our pooled knowledge of the scriptures we are able to share hidden gems with our children.  This is why we are admonished to have regularly individual and family scripture study.  In our chaotic lives, this is one thing we can no longer put on the back burner.  It is one of the essential materials to fortifying our home.

Two weeks ago I took the kids to the beach.  They dug a large hole surrounded by a wall of sand.  They then filled the hole with water.  As the did this the walls started to fall down.  One child rebuilt the wall while the others poured the water.  While this worked for sometime it was not the solution to their problem.  If the children had placed a wall made of rocks, instead of sand they would have had a much better fortification.  Another essential material for fortifying our families , now and in the future is a temple marriage.  President Kimball said: “To our beloved young people we would say a few more things about the responsibility of marriage. When the selection of a life’s companion is made and the time comes, our young people should marry in the holy temple and have their families; complete their education; establish themselves in a profitable, honorable and rewarding occupation; and give themselves to their families, to the gospel, and to the Church.  What we are saying about eternal marriage is not my opinion only or the opinion of the leaders of the Church today. This is the word of God, which supersedes all other opinions.”  An Eternal Celestial marriage in the house of our Lord is the first and most successful way to fortify our families.  By visiting the temple often we are reminded of the covenants we made.  This reinforcement is like us adding additional security measures to our family.  

I bear testimony that when we fortify our families we will become closer.  Closer to one another.  And closer to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.  Listen to the Holy Ghost as he tells you how you can begin today to fortify your family.  In the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.